Spiders are scary!

This one is very much like a Far Side cartoon (I'm not bragging, just admitting). It allows you to imagine what's going to happen. I don't know if Gary Larson ever drew a cartoon about someone trying to kill a gigantic bug with a newspaper or not. I hope not, but if he did I'm sure it's much funnier and I highly recommend it (even without reading it).

My wife loves spiders. I hate them. She's always telling me to put them outside. Putting them outside requires one to somehow corral the beast into a jar and transport it to the backyard where it will just make its way in again. Maybe we don't live in Australia where every single bug is poisonous but to me all arachnids look like monsters. (By the way, my wife doesn't look like the women in this cartoon. She only looks that way to me when she tells me to shoo an eight legged monster out the window.)

There really is no reason to be afraid of spiders. I do feel a pang of guilt whenever I squish one, but that quickly subsides. Some argue arachnophobia may have been an instinctive response that helped early humans survive. More likely, humans who ran from harmless spiders probably ran into the jaws of a far more dangerous animal. It's amazing arachnophobia is still around.

What is it about spiders that's so horrendous? I don't know. They're sneaky, they crawl up walls, they have too many eyes, too many legs. Quadrupeds I can handle. Anything with more than four legs should be squashed.

Technology solves another problem

Do you ever feel like no one pays any attention to you? Well, you're probably right, unless you're tweeting or posting something. If you were to run naked down the street screaming the good news that the squid people were here to save us all if only we'd listen, well, no one would notice. You'd have to tweet that.

As social media grows we're becoming more anti social as a species when it comes to one on one interaction. When a group of friends get together theres always someone with their phone out, texting or checking their mail, always distracted. Whenever I take the bus I put my iPod on so I won't have to listen to people talking. I've been doing it for so long now that I'm not even sure if people talk on the bus anymore. Maybe it's quiet now that everyone has an iPhone, iPad, iPod, iHelmet.

I used to wonder why I never bumped into any of my old friends from high school. I thought it could be because I'm busy and have kids (as well as my old friends), or that most of them moved away to another city for work (or to not run the risk of bumping into me). But it's probably because I'm just not paying attention. I could literally walk right by an old friend and not even notice. That may sound sad but it probably isn't. Interactions between old friends who have lost touch with each other tend to be hollow anyway. There are reasons why some friendships don't continue past high school.

I joined Twitter to see if I could promote this blog. It was a bit overwhelming to say the least. There's just so much noise out there that it seems pointless. How does anyone stand out without resorting to tweeting about twerking? (10 years ago no one would have known what that meant. Those were better times.)

Tweeting about cartooning is probably pointless anyway. I mean, Marmaduke is still around! I'm pretty sure the centenarian who draws that cartoon doesn't have a twitter account. He's still drawing cartoons about how a big dog manages to slobber up the owners newspaper. (Get it? He's a big dog! Hahahaha!) He gets paid for these rehashed gags. Ugh.

Anyway, I'll post this blog, tweet it, update my status on Facebook and then read a Marmaduke cartoon and get really mad. I'm pretty sure the punch line to the Marmaduke cartoon will be (It's a big dog, get it?)

Selfies

I know. This cartoon is redundant. All selfies are inappropriate.

Actually, I have no problem with most selfies. Just the ones taken at inappropriate times, like the “sexy” selfies taken with kids in the background. Oh, let’s not forget the dudes who photoshop their muscles. That’s probably the most annoying. First, you take a picture of yourself with your phone in the mirror and then take the time to attempt to pump up your muscles on photoshop. These people deserve the ridicule that eventually comes their way on the selfie fail websites.

I was trying to think of ways to defend selfies. In the age of social media, with friends tagging pictures of you without your consent, it’s a way to control your image. You can share with your friends your experiences, your travels, etc, whatever.

Don’t people realize that camera’s have timers? If you’re going to take a selfie at least try to make it look like someone took a picture of you! I guess nobody carries cameras anymore because pictures always look better all grainy and low resolution taken from a phone. Is it that low resolution, grainy photos hide blemishes?

Selfies are vain but that’s okay because everyone’s a little vain. Blogs are the selfies of the mind (and artistic skills). So who are we to judge? Selfies are just an easy target (hence my cartoon).

Nobel Prize

My friend Sterling at http://sterlinglynch.wordpress.com/ said of this cartoon: “Optimism is not your strongest trait”. Maybe he's right. No, he's definitely right.

I feel that if we ever solve most of the worlds biggest problems then fate will finally deal her fatal blow. But I'm not worried. We'll never solve most of the worlds biggest problems.

We live in a world where politicians call intellectuals elitists and environmentalists eco-terrorists. They call voters “average”, like that's a good thing. In Canada they work for the “average” Canadian. Do they want us to feel average, not great? What if I don't want to be average? What's wrong with being an elite in my field? Wayne Gretzky was an elite in his field. He's a national hero!

So, if the world adopts an environmentally friendly source of energy, eliminates global hunger and ushers in world peace, that's when I'll start to worry (more so).